30 Lies You Have Been Told About Sex
When it comes to sex, there’s so much misinformation floating around that it’s hard to know what—and what not—to believe. Here are the cold hard facts about 30 lies you’ve been told about sex.
LIE #1: Sex is about pleasure and pleasure is life
If this is true, then our culture is the most enlightened of all time. If not, then we have really messed up the meaning to life and what will bring us true happiness.
LIE #2: An intact hymen is a sign of virginity
A woman can break her hymen by having sex—or by doing gymnastics, horseback riding, or performing any number of other physical activities. Or, she could have been born without one. Women can also have an intact hymen and still be sexually active. The thin, flexible membrane reveals nothing about a woman’s virginity; in fact, experts say its importance is little more than a social construct.
LIE #3: Sex is like all other big sins
Is it? Check out what the Bible says about sexuality and how we treat our bodies before you answer.
LIE #4: Men with big feet are big … everywhere
The average male penis size is five inches—and studies show that there’s little correlation between shoe size and, well, your size.
LIE #5: Everybody is doing it
Wrong. Even if the sitcoms, commercials, music, and a lot of people you know are having sex, many still are not. The statistics say most people have sex before marriage, but that still doesn’t mean it is good for any of them, is the right thing to do, or that there are no consequences.
LIE #6: Some forms of sex are safer than others
You can’t get pregnant from oral sex, but that doesn’t mean you can’t contract sexually transmitted diseases from the act. Any time you refrain from using a barrier method of contraception (condoms, dental dams, etc.), you’re at risk for the same scary infections you tend to associate solely with intercourse.
LIE #7: Love = Sex
These two things can be related, but aren’t always. In fact, if you think of the hook-up culture, it has nothing to do with sex. Neither does porn. If love is choosing what is best for the other person, despite what it might cost me, then sex can be part of that, but only in the right context (marriage).
LIE #8: Only young men deal with premature ejaculation
It’s commonly viewed as a “young man’s problem,” but premature ejaculation is actually a chronic condition that affects individuals of all ages, with no increase or decrease in rates as you age.
LIE #9: Porn doesn’t hurt anyone
If by “anyone” you mean “everyone”, then you are correct. If you doubt me look at the societal consequences and the cost on relationships.
LIE #10: The pill makes you gain weight
Convinced your birth control made you put on a few extra pounds? Think again. According to doctors, there’s little scientific evidence that the pill causes weight gain. Due to a variety of factors, women tend to get heavier with age—a phenomenon they sometimes (wrongly) attribute to oral contraceptives.
LIE #11: Sex is no big deal
Look at all the issues, problems, and relevant topics that are mentioned above. You still want to buy into this lie?
LIE #12: Men think about sex all the time
A recent study found that half of men think about sex less than 19 times a day—which is about the same frequency that men think about food.
LIE #13: Women don’t really care about sex
Wrong. While the average woman may not have the sexual drive the average man does, we shouldn’t think that women are asexual. That would be a problem.
LIE #14: Sex burns a lot of calories
It might feel like a strenuous aerobic workout, but scientists say that a 150-pound man burns a paltry 3.5 calories per minute during sex. If this number sounds like a lot, keep the following fact in mind: He burns one-third that amount of energy watching TV.
LIE #15: Porn is not a big deal
If that were the case, then it isn’t a big deal to not use it either, correct? Nor would we have all the problems associated with it that have been discussed in other places.
LIE #16: Only men have wet dreams
One prominent survey found that nearly 40 percent of women have woken up from a vivid dream due to an orgasm.
LIE #17: All physical contact is bad
On the flip of the coin is the lie that kissing someone else or even giving a big hug to someone will incite lust and should always be avoided. If this is the case, there are deeper issues. But not all physical contact is wrong.
LIE #18: Men don’t need the HPV vaccine
The human papillomavirus (HPV) can cause cervical cancer in women. But did you know it can also cause penile cancer in men, and oral and anal cancers in women and men? HPV is so common that experts recommend young girls and boys alike receive the HPV vaccine (even though the vaccine is heavily marketed toward women). The vaccine is safe, and it helps protect both genders from future exposure.
LIE #19: Only losers don’t have sex
Losers like JPII, Mother Teresa, and others? Do you really want to sink this low? Now we look silly.
LIE #20: Women don’t look at pornography
Past media surveys have found that one in three visitors to adult websites are, in fact, female.
LIE #21: There is no hope after you mess up sexually
Wrong. God will never stop loving you. You can’t make Him stop. But He can’t forgive you if you hold onto your sins.
LIE #22: Women are more sexually fluid than men
One national study showed that both men and women engage in sexual activity with partners of the same sex at about the same rates—and not all of them self-identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual.
LIE #23: If we aren’t having intercourse, it isn’t really “sex”
Many young people tell themselves that they are really only having “sex” if it is intercourse. This isn’t the case. Sex includes many different kinds of acts. But, if there is sexual arousal involved, it is a kind of sexual activity.
LIE #24: As long as we aren’t having intercourse, it isn’t wrong
Building on the last lie, there are too many who tell themselves that what they are doing isn’t wrong as long as it isn’t intercourse. But we don’t determine right and wrong. If you doubt it is wrong to have sex outside of marriage, this might help.
LIE #25: Porn is a great way to learn how to have good sex
Actually, porn is a good way to learn how to have a miserable sex life. It teaches, promiscuity, diminished fidelity and trust, and is a fantasy world where sex is everything there is. That is just a part of the issues it brings.
LIE #26: Once you get married all your sexual dreams become reality
This is widely (and quietly) held assumption I have encountered in young people who have sexual struggles before marriage. They think marriage will mean sex without limits. But this is merely fantasy world.
LIE #27: If you have a porn problem, getting married will fix it
Too many believe marriage will help them overcome sexual problems, when in fact, it will probably just magnify them. A lack of self-control means you have a problem. Marriage can’t fix that.
LIE #28: A man wants sex and a woman wants emotional intimacy – but will give sex to get it
There is a partial truth with this statement, but that means there is also a lie with it too. The lie is that every man and woman fall into this kind of thinking. We aren’t robots.
LIE #29: You won’t know if you are “sexually compatible” if you wait until marriage
If you have only had sex with one person and learned to have sex with them, wouldn’t that be what compatibility is? Sexual incompatibility means you are selfish and won’t sacrifice for someone you say you love.
LIE #30: I can stop looking at porn whenever I want
Maybe. Maybe not. Try not looking for 3 months. See if you don’t like your life better. See if you are able to stop.
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